Fattie and Me Part 2

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Dear Mr Williams,

I must say I was flattered by your invitation for such a remarkable business opportunity. Never in my life have I seen such a perfect opportunity to help a fellow human being and make a few dollars on the side. I must say your percentage offering is indeed generous, and I accept your offer. 

To give you a little background on myself; my name is Thurston Howell III. I am a graduate of Harvard, where I met my beautiful wife Lovey and soon after, married her. I remember the day well; it was the day that Consolidated General spiked 17 points on the market and I made millions. 

I have made a comfortable life for myself and my wife through out various investments. I chair 12 companies, am a registered Republican, and have several vacation homes through out the United States. I must say I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I do not take kindly to manual labor, I have a boy named Gilligan to do that for me. 

I have just set up an investment company to seek out opportunities, such as yours, to investigate and fulfill. Some of the board members are Jonas Grumby (Skipper), Professor Roy Hinkley, Maryann Summers, Ginger Grant, and, of course, myself and Lovey. We would like to further pursue your offer and let this correspondence act as a formal acceptance.

I look forward to your reply,

Good Day

Thurston Howell III

Ok I admit it. I fucked up. I came up with this whole Thurston Howell the 3rd thing (profile, email, a little research on Gilligan and friends) and I could not remember how the hell I signed into Yahoo. It pissed me off. They wanted every freakin thing in the world to retrieve my password. So after providing my birth date, password, username, and loan number for my mortgage ---- I still could not get in! So, I said 'fuck it' and started using a character I had in development. I followed my heart and decided I needed to have a person obsessed with the Shadow Government-Alien-Bilderberg conspiracy type of guys. Thus we have Art Bell. No offense to Art, I just needed a name with recognition for the notoriety of it all.

So here's the next chapter in Fattie's life (or at least another 2 months wasted):

From usmahis Fri Jun 21 01:41:25 2002
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From: "MR ROTIMI WILLIAMS" ftrwilliams"
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Date: Fri, 21 Jun 2002 06:21:19 +0100
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SIR,
I WISH TO COMMENCE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS WITH YOU INVOLVING THE TRANSFER OF US$121.3 MILLION (ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY ONE MILLION THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S. DOLLARS) CASH FOR YOUR SAFEKEEPING PENDING ON MY ARRIVAL TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT/ INVESTMENT. I AM FATAI WILLIAMS ESQ., ATTORNEY TO LATE BOLA IGE, (MINISTER OF JUSTICE AND ATTORNEY GENERAL OF FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA) WHO WAS ASSASSINATED ON SUNDAY 23RD OF DECEMBER 2001. MY CLIENT CONFIDENTIALLY DEPOSITED THE CASH WITH GLOBAL DIPLOMATIC COURIER/SECURITY SERVICES ABROAD AS PHOTOGRAPHIC MATERIAL BEFORE HIS SUDDEN DEATH, ALL RELEVANT INFORMATION OF THE DEPOSIT IS WITH ME, THIS FUND HE MADE WHILE SERVING AS A MINISTER FOR POWER, MINES AND STEEL. I AM THEREFORE SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE TO FURNISH ME IMMEDIATELY YOUR PARTICULARS (FULL NAME, SAFEST TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, COMPANY NAME &ADDRESS) TO ENABLE ME PREPARE A POWER OF ATTORNEY IN YOUR FAVOUR TO CLAIM THE FUND AND SUBSEQUENTLY TRANSFER THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT FOR OUR (YOU AND ME) FUTURE MUTUAL AND FINANCIAL BENEFITS. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION AND 70% WILL BE KEPT FOR OUR INVESTMENTS THEREAFTER. MAINTAIN NON-DISCLOSURE OF FACTS TO THIRD PARTY AND DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT ME FOR FURTHER DETAILS ON RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL.
BEST REGARDS,
FATAI WILLIAMS ESQ.
TEL: , , FAX: .
FURTHER EMAILS: rotimi39



Contact Details:
----------------
Company: ftrwilliams & associates
Contact: Mr. Fatai Williams
Location: blk5 hse 1,asorock bld.,
wuse 11,
abuja, federal capital territory, Nigeria - 0000
Phone:
Mobile:
Fax:
Email: ftrwilliams
Products Offered as a Supplier: legal services
Products of Interest as a Buyer: all related business

From: Art Bell
To: frtwilliams
Date: Wed Sep 18 00:58:37 2002
Subject: re: Opportunity


Dear Sir,

I want to thank you for your generous offer. You’ll have to excuse my paranoia…but is this for real? I have been locked away for a few years in my humble abode. I’m afraid it is much too dangerous for me to leave my residence. So I have managed to adapt to my style of living and only deal with people whom I trust implicitly. Before I went into seclusion I managed to save enough money to last me the rest of my life for I knew the day would come when they would start looking for me.

I am highly interested in this transaction and have time, to devote, to insure our success. I can furnish you with off shore bank accounts, ghost companies, and whatever covert means of transfer you may desire. My email address is secure and no one can crack my security measures. They came close once…in their black helicopters and black SUV’s but I knew hours ahead of time and had rigged my last apartment to implode upon breach.

I live alone with my dog Muffy, therefore I have the means to travel at a moments notice, if you need me to. I have five different and legitimate forms of identification that I have used previously that will safely insure my arrival. I have much more to offer that may or may not be needed as time and circumstance may necessitate.

I agree that the transaction must be kept in the highest of confidentiality. Never trust a Mason or anywhere that you see Novus Ordo Seclorum. Evil is at play there. I believe we should begin all of our communications with a phrase known only to us…..as we get deeper into the transaction. Trust NoOne!!!!!!!!

I look forward to hearing from you soon with God’s speed.

Art Bell

AAAAhhhhhhh here we are again!!! Fattie's finally back. After sending numerous emails to him from a host of different services, he responded. For over a week, I was emailing him from www.212.com and my account kept getting shut down. With a name like ArtBell , well you can guess that there were alot of the conspiracy theories going through my mind. Well, turns out they have a pretty decent spam filter going on and anything I sent out regarding Nigeria was getting flagged at the server. And here I am thinking I've just been flagged by the Shadow government as a subversive, ya know, put in the main computer at Mount Weather. So, we have a few ideas, I've got a map and I just hope I can gain Fattie's confidence like before. So off to the video store to rent Spaceballs and brush up. May the Schwartz be with you!!!!!

DEAR BELL,

 I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE, COULD YOU PLEASE FORWARD ME IMMEDIATELY YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ENABLE ME CONTACT YOU FOR MORE DETAILS,

 REGARDS,

 FATAI WILLIAMS ESQ. 

PH:,7743571.

Mr Williams,

My apologies sir. If you would send me any previous correspondences, I would appreciate it. It appears the ISPs I had signed up for have gone out of business and any previous message I may have received are lost. Thank you for your consideration and send my regards to the Ige family. It is a terrible tragedy.

Best Regards,

Art Bell